


First Thing's First

by ishouldwritethatdown



Series: Post-Hephaestus Space Kids [1]
Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Actual Coffee (finally), Alternate Universe - Doug Remembers, Back to Earth, Fast Food, Gen, Post-Canon, Road Trips, bring them home pls, i just want my space kids to be safe and happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-23 13:07:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11403024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ishouldwritethatdown/pseuds/ishouldwritethatdown
Summary: What's the first thing three washed up, exhausted, conspiracy-dodging astronauts want to do when they finally make it back to Earth? Stop at the nearest place that sells garbage coffee to desperate people, and get some real goddamn caffeine for the first time in four+ years. Eiffel is a dumbass, Minkowski is a smartass, as Lovelace tackles the rose-tinted goggles of nostalgia.





	First Thing's First

"Is it just me, or does this coffee suck ass?" Lovelace asked, slotting it into a cup holder and licking her lips.

"Are you kidding me?" Eiffel replied, taking another swig even though his mouth was still full of burger. It tasted like someone had put coffee and a beefburger in a blender. It was not the most unpleasant thing he'd ever had to call food. "After seaweed water this tastes like a Fizzy Lifting Drink had sex with a Butterbeer."

Minkowski pulled a face, "Is that supposed to be a good thing?"

Eiffel craned his neck to look at Minkowski's empty cup holder from where he lounged in the back seat of the car. "You didn't get any coffee? I thought you'd be craving some real caffeine."

"My first cup of real coffee in four years isn't going to be takeout from some random rest stop. It's going to be home brewed, fresh, and in my favourite mug," she answered. The sharp edge in her tone told Eiffel that it was taking all her restraint not to run back into the McDonalds and get some garbage caffeine into her system.

He looked at her amusedly, "How did a coffee snob such as yourself survive on Hilbert's special brew for so long?"

"You're right, Eiffel, the coffee was the biggest threat to my survival in space. It was a close call," she replied, deadpan. He flashed a grin at her.

"You think that gunk was bad, you should've tasted Selberg's original recipe. The stuff was rat poison," Lovelace said, considering her cup for a moment before taking another sip. Her facial expression didn't improve on the last one she made when she tasted it.

"I'd love to be confident in saying that you're not being literal," Minkowski winced.

"Well, at least we didn't have to deal with rats up there," Lovelace considered.

"Just extreme danger bugs and mutant plant monsters," Eiffel chipped in cheerfully.

"I think I remembered this wrong," Lovelace said, putting her coffee down again. "I'd been imagining tasting it again this whole time and it's just... not the same."

"Curse the rose-tinted goggles of nostalgia, right?" Eiffel replied, apparently unaffected as he chomped his burger.

"You're going to make yourself sick," Minkowski informed him. "You shouldn't be eating so much right away. The gravity adjustment is going to affect your stomach too."

"Shut up and eat your ice cream," he said. He was aggressively trying to ignore the churning feeling that was already starting in his stomach.

Minkowski sighed and fiddled with the flimsy plastic spoon sticking out of the cup. She looked to be contemplating something much deeper than an ice-cream.

Eiffel thought about saying something, but he couldn't find the words. What could he possibly say to make her feel better? Hey Commander, at least we didn't die horribly in a shuttle crash? Hey Commander, at least Goddard Futuristics hasn't sent the assassins after us yet? Hey Commander--

"At least we're alive."

Lovelace and Minkowski turned in their seats to look at him. Eiffel's surprised expression matched their own; he hadn't realised he was speaking out loud. He started to apologise, but trailed off, staring at the coffee cup in his hand.

"At least we're alive," Lovelace agreed, turning back around.

"Yeah. At least that," Minkowski said finally. Eiffel could feel her gaze on him for a few more moments before she looked away.

They finished the rest of their food in silence and then set off on the road again.

"So, how long til we get there?" Lovelace asked. She tried to sound casual. Minkowski's glare told her it wasn't convincing.

"Don't start that," she replied.

The washing machine feeling in his gut was getting steadily harder to ignore. "Uhhhhh, Commander?" he began, cringing, "I think you might have been right about eating too soon."

"God damnit, Eiffel, if you throw up in this car I will leave your dumb ass by the side of the road," she answered. She pulled over, and he managed to get out of the car before all the rose-tinted nostalgic flavors came pouring back out. Lovelace was definitely rolling her eyes.

"Hey, Doug?" Minkowski called through the window.

He gave a vague "mmhf" that could've been a "What?"

She grinned at him, "At least we're alive."

Judging by her laugh, "Fuck you, Commander," was exactly what she needed to hear.


End file.
